Have you ever noticed that voice in your head…the inner critic…that quiet but consistent message you hear every time you approach the boarder of your comfort zone looking to do something brave, courageous and out of the norm?

If so, you are not alone – we all have them. What does yours tell you?

Some of the more common ones are: ‘You are not good enough.’ ‘You are not smart enough.’ ‘You don’t have what it takes to be successful.’ ‘You don’t have a voice – they will never listen to you.’ There are more, but I think you get the picture.

Some refer to this voice as your Gremlin . It tells you not to try, never to take a risk, always to play it safe, and to play it small. Their message is clear: ‘ You really don’t have what it takes to get to where - you want to be & even if you got there, you would not last very long. ’

It likes to whisper and hiss thoughts in you like: ‘It aint gonna happen.’

Recently, I heard a slight noise in my kitchen area. I did not pay much attention to it at first because it was faint, so I played it off like it was just my imagination. Being that denial seldom works, the sound grew louder and louder over a few months to where I had no other choice but to take action.

This hot water pinhole leak over several months, (besides creating a ton of mold) slowly but surely, took out our entire kitchen – the subfloor floor, the warped countertops, the cabinets, the drywall, insulation, you name it. The entire area needed to be gutted, cleaned, cleared and disinfected.

What damage is that faint little voice in your head causing over the years?

Maybe at first it had little to no impact – but gremlins are patient and stay the course to keep you ‘safe’. Through a consistent campaign they appeal to our insecurity and comfort zone to hold us back. Like my leaky pipe, they get louder over time and create more damage the longer they go undealt with.

What would be different in your life if the message you heard over and over again when you approached the boundary of your comfort zone cheered you on & encouraged you to go for it?

What would you be accomplishing? What would you be starting? Finishing? How much more joy would you have?

If your are ready to fight back & work with that voice in your head instead of against it, here are:

1. Admit it is there

As it has been said, ‘You cannot solve anything unless you face it.’ Denial only perpetuates the situations we are in. If you hear a certain ‘voice in your head’, admit it. Bring it to the light. I have never met anyone who has told me they don’t hear something.

2. Acknowledge the message

What is it that you hear most often when you are just about to reach for your dreams and head down unchartered waters? Mine is definitely, ‘You do not have what it takes to be successful / pull this off – so just relax & stay where you are.’ Whatever you hear, write it down. Don’t run from it. Don’t be afraid of it. Don’t react to it. Just hear it & note it.

3. Recognize when it ‘shows up’

Now that you are admit it is there & you have written down what it says to you (yes, you can have more than one, but just for now deal with the most prevalent) notice when it shows up – be conscious of it – similar to when someone shows up at your house or walks into your office. Ask yourself this question, ‘wonder why it is showing up right now…’.

Chances are, you are about to be stretched & pulled out of your comfort zone & like magic ‘it’ appears. Some people even name their gremlin. This helps with step #4.

4. Create space

There is a principle that states, ‘although we have feelings and emotions, we are not our feelings and emotions.’ This realization changes the conversation from ‘I am so NERVOUS right now’ to ‘I am feeling the nerves – they are calling for me to be nervous, but I am not going there.’ Create space. Just because I am thinking a certain way, or hearing my gremlin’s message I do not have to give into it. Yes, it is an option, but what other options are out there. Follow steps 1-3, and then you can have the gremlin’s message as a choice, but not a default.

5. Choose your action

Now it is your turn to act. You are responsible. Response-able. Able to respond to situations the way you choose to… not simply on the voice of your gremlin and its influence. Appreciate the concern it has for you, but decide that you will move on and up and that no matter what happens, you will either win or learn!

Be patient with yourself. This can take some practice & some time. But, you CAN do it!!

I would love to hear how this helps and am here to answer any questions you might have. Email me today at dave@davemitchellcoaching.com

Best,

Dave