Each day is filled with great opportunities; however, too many of us miss out on opportunities in life because we lack self-confidence. The confidence gap is the place where fear gets in the way of our dreams and ambitions. In the same way we can cultivate confidence; there are also surefire ways we can perpetually undermine our own self confidence. Becoming aware of our own unhelpful thoughts and behaviors is key to moving forwarding in creating a meaningful life.

Here are 5 ways we can be sure to self-sabotage our confidence:

If you have never failed, you have not tried anything new. Reflecting on the lessons learned from the past can be healthy; however, dwelling on past failures stifles our creativity and confidence. Learn the lesson that experience has taught you, but don’t dwell on the negative.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Each person has their own journey and experience that brought them where they are today. Usually the people who seem “naturally talented” have already done a lot more practice than we have in order to get to where they are. Continue to strive to be the best version of you that you can and focus on who you are becoming.

The imposture syndrome is where you are skilled at what you are doing; however, you get hooked on thoughts that you are not good enough and soon you will be “found out for who you really are’- which is a fake and a fraud. These thoughts typically occur when taking on a new project, responsibility, or leadership role. Take time to reflect on recent victories whenever these thoughts arise.

At times we can say things to ourselves that we wouldn’t tell our worst friend. Don’t dwell on those thoughts. Allow them to come and go like passing cars and fully engage in what you should be doing. Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion.

Perfectionism is the result of us getting bullied into thoughts that you must perform tasks perfectly and not make mistakes. Perfectionist often think “I can’t make mistakes”, I have to do it right the first time”, or “if I can’t do it well, I should not try at all”. If we give into these thoughts, it’s a recipe for disaster. Give yourself permission to experiment and make mistakes.

Reflection : Which one of these hooks you most?

The next time you are tempted with one of these, decided not to get sucked in. Stay mentally present and engaged in the activity or project and these thoughts will pass.

Teregi is a IFC-certified Professional Life Coach and public speaker who has 15+ years of people development experience. His mission as a coach is to increase the amount of flourishing in people’s lives.